Toxic Masculinity Unveiled: Exploring Its Impact

Toxic masculinity.

Those two words make me want to recoil into darkness. Toxic masculinity, by definition,  is what can come of teaching boys that they can’t express emotion openly, that they have to be “tough all the time”, and that anything other than that makes them “feminine” or weak. Those two words were taught to me in the context of Romeo and Juliet. Mercutio's main character trait is toxic masculinity, which happens in many forms, including making sexual advances towards the nurse to assert sexual dominance and calling Romeo weak for not fighting Tybalt. These pivotal moments Shakespeare presents are some of the most profound and famous cases of toxic masculinity in English literature. In this case, society's expectation of men caused these issues. Romeo and Juliet was written in 1597. There are apparent similarities to these plays about “star-crossed lovers taking their lives” that reflect modern society.

I have seen people who care about suffering most behind closed doors or in chat rooms. I sometimes like to see the difference in reactions between men and women. There's a stark difference; men choose violence and aggression to suppress their emotions, which could come in many forms: sport, exercise or self-harm. None of these help me understand how they feel. The term above stands out; a woman isn’t scared to be vulnerable, maybe because they always have been; their traditional role was childbearing, which has death risk, and they were never able to be independent of men. They were susceptible to the male gaze and sexualisation. To them, emotional vulnerability is nothing compared to their torment.

However, males have been presented as these macho, untouchable gods of humans; they are unstoppable in their conquests, consistently achieve, and will always be happy, and sadness isn’t part of the vocabulary. I have seen many men suffer in silence. They are delighted to tell you something is happening but never tell you what. You do everything right. You tell them you're there, won’t judge them, and care for them no matter what. However, society is still watching and judging. No man should show emotions, they say. Just a drink and a shag will fix you right up there, not only by others but by themselves. They don't think their feelings matter or should be a cause for concern or something for someone to worry about. I've heard many people say they have people who will seek help.

Only one of them did. The others are still battling because they fear the judgement they face when they go home. I also knew a guy who could be so open about sex and workout but could be so closed off to expressing emotion. These guys were all kind-natured, carefree, intelligent and lovable in their own right. They believed they had no reason to be unhappy, had a good house, a stable family, had loads of quality friendships, were good in school, and most likely got the girl they wanted. Why should they be sad? Because they are human, they cannot physically or mentally be happy and content all the time.

1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem each year in England. 1 in 6 people report experiencing a common mental health problem (like anxiety and depression) in any given week in England. The statistics don’t lie. How many more people haven't reported their mental health experiences? These three statistics are shocking. All these are because society expects macho men, men who aren't in touch with their emotions, who don't express sadness or loneliness, and men who are strong and deal with it.

• Three times as many men as women die by suicide.
• According to the Government's national well-being survey, men report lower levels of life satisfaction than women.
• Men are less likely to access psychological therapies than women: only 36% of referrals to NHS talking therapies are for men.

These statistics prove that men have mental health too, which should be pushed aside and said to be all in their heads. They must pump out at the gym a little longer or go on a sex rampage; those will do more irretrievable damage. So, why do the men lie if the statistic doesn't lie?